Lust, Pornography, Masturbation, and the Fellowship of the Ring

At 10:30 every Sunday morning in the BU Catholic Center, a group of around twenty men gather for prayer, friendship, and discussion.  The theme this semester is "The Lord of the Rings."  It is not a literary discussion, nor is it a film discussion group.  The presentations--given by the young men themselves--are about how to grow in virtue and to be good Catholic men.  

It is edifying for me to witness the seriousness of these young men and their sincere desire to be good and holy men.  Today's topic was on chastity, pornography, and masturbation.  Statistics show that 70% of men ages 18-24 visit porn sites each month, so it is absurd to act as though this issue is not affecting the men in our congregations--whether they be in parishes or in college campus ministry programs.  

Today's presentations approached the topic in a twofold way.  Firstly, there was a discussion about the science behind pornography use in terms of how it affects the brains of those who use it and how it creates an addiction.  Secondly, there was a discussion about the spiritual battles involved with chastity and how to live a chaste life.  

It is kind of awesome to witness young men who want to fight the battle and who are not afraid to talk about these topics.  Sadly, we've done a pretty big disservice to young--and not so young--people in this regard.  We avoid discussing these topics because they are embarrassing and uncomfortable.  Instead, we send our kids off to their rooms with their laptops in hand and close our eyes and shrug.  Yet, we know that two out of every three divorces lists pornography as one of the contributing factors to the failure of the marriage.  In other words, we are setting young people up for failure.  Additionally, pornography seriously degrades others.  

It's an interesting thing that in a world where we are more saturated than ever with opportunities to view pornography, there is less talk on the part of Catholics about growing in virtue and fighting temptation.  In fact, just the opposite often happens.  In the parish where I was once assigned, there was an all boys Catholic high school nearby.  On three occasions, I heard someone give a talk at the school dismissing the seriousness of masturbation and making a joke out of it.  Talk about missed opportunities.

But today, I witnessed something inspiring.  I listened to a mature discussion of these matters.  These guys are all brothers--a Fellowship of the Ring, so to speak--who are willing to meet the enemy head on and engage in battle together.  Relying on each other and--most importantly--God's grace, they want to fight against temptation and be men with pure hearts.  This is so awesome.  

By never discussing these things, we allow them to enslave either ourselves or our brothers.  Lust is something that has been attacking man since the Original Fall.  When we talk about it together, pray about it together, and develop strategies about it together, we become more likely to conquer and to be victorious.  Lust, pornography, and masturbation lose their hold over men when men have an opportunity to discuss these things maturely, pray about them, and--most importantly--rely upon the power of the Sacraments.  When we don't talk about them directly, maturely, and forthrightly, we are basically depriving our sons and brothers of hope.  When, on the other hand, we openly and appropriately discuss these topics, we are able to grow in hope of victory because we know that we are not alone in the battle.

I have no doubt that every man who attended that Men's Group this morning, left the conversation with a renewed desire to be more chaste and to fight the good fight.  This is the value of true Catholic Fraternity.

(There is a good website that discusses this topic in some good detail.  It is www.purityispossible.com )

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